featheradrift | Inbox (The City)

[ Was it out of pity? Kaveh knows what he is. Knows that not only is he a puppet, he's one made in the image of a god. The man is more than smart enough to deduce who it is he was modeled in the image of.

But he's not a close friend or anything. What reason does he have to care for the Wanderer? There's no reason for him to show genuine concern. ]

What else could it be? I'm hardly a friend. Just someone he competed against in a competition, once. He has no reason to care for me.

["What else could it be?" To an extent, she gets it. The world isn't kind like that. People almost always have ulterior motives, and altruism is not near as common as the simple appearance of altruism. The tangles of lies and self-serving feelings that crisscross her vision have always made that apparent enough.

But... But...

Ritsuka hadn't been like that. And in all the times she's spoken to Kaveh, he's been honest, too. So she can't really speak to what else it could be, just that:]

... I don't really know, to be honest. But... he just didn't seem like the kind of person who would pity someone else. Especially not someone like you.

[To her, Wanderer has it pretty well together, even if his past has been painful. She admires that, and to a small extent, envies it. So he just doesn't seem like a pitiable sort of person to her.]

[ She's not wrong. He doesn't think Kaveh is the type to pity either. If anything, he suspects there is something inherent to Kaveh that makes him act the way he does.

But isn't that all the more terrifying? That a man can so willingly give so much without any other motive than that he wants to help? It's not normal human behaviour. He's seen what humans are like—selfish, greedy, helpful only when they stand to gain. He's also seen kindness, warmth and love from them too. They're hopelessly complex and hard to understand.

He doesn't understand Kaveh at all. ]

...I don't want him meddling in my business.

[ Because he's overwhelming. He wants so much—for the drifter, even when the Wanderer doesn't want for himself. It's too much. He—wants to run away from it. ]

[... Ah. She sees now, a glimmer of clarity in the things he does not say, behind the things that he does. He's... afraid. Afraid of getting attached to someone he might lose, someone who might throw his life away as easily as Kaveh. Afraid of the sort of deep emotion and intention and warmth that Kaveh has.

For a moment, she feels guilty.

But she pushes that aside, and thinks--again, if there are any sorts of lies that are not terribly bitter, it's ones like these.

And once again, she's amazed at just how much she understands what he means. It'd be so much easier to run away, wouldn't it? But there's only so far for people like them to run.]

I get the feeling he's the kind of person who's going to meddle anyway...

[Hmm... she doesn't feel like he wants her to meddle in his business, but she has to offer anyway.]

I could ask him to stop...?

[ Again, she's not wrong. And he already has. It was unfortunate that he couldn't fully avoid Kaveh at the gala, but in that kind of enclosed space, it may as well have been inevitable.

He's like a hurricane, drawing everything around him closer and closer through the force of his will. He's like the sun, bright, shining and at times searing. He dreams for the stars, and brings everyone around him up into the skies, that they may chase their dreams evermore.

He has no dreams. He has no desire—aside from atoning for his sins. He doesn't belong in the light that shines from the architect.

Altria is too kind, really. ]

I can handle it myself.

[ Said kindly, because he appreciates Altria's concern. But this is something that he should deal with on his own. And having Altria ask is admitting he can't force Kaveh to stop on his own. It's—a sign of weakness. He doesn't need to cower behind Altria. ]

Okay.

[She didn't think he really wanted her to meddle, but nonetheless, she felt as though the offer itself was important. After all, she'd always wished people would've reached out to help her when she was overwhelmed and struggling.

Of course, she probably would've accepted the help, but she's not as strong as he is--so this isn't a surprise.

And, with a smile that comes easier than she was anticipating:]

I think you can too. [She thinks he can handle it, even if Kaveh's overwhelming. She thinks... Kaveh's kindness and bright personality could be good for someone like Wanderer--but likewise, Wanderer's caution and wariness could be good for Kaveh, too, especially in light of what she's learned about him through this.

Isn't that just a win-win, then?]

Even if maybe it takes a little bit of time, I think it'll work out for the better for both of you.

[ There's an inevitable outcome that they're heading towards—barring either of them vanishing, the two of them will end up reconciling and—at least become proper acquaintances. Even he knows this much—knows that his avoidance and struggles with Kaveh's force of personality are futile.

But he needs time. Time to adjust to the idea, perhaps. Time to prepare himself to deal with Kaveh, no matter the outcome. There was a hand that reached out to him, back in the fairy tales. At the time, it felt like it carried the weight of the world and more.

He huffs a little grumpy noise, but it's a benign gesture. ]

He ought to learn some delicacy first.

[That startles a laugh out of her. "Delicacy"? He's never had a problem with her, and she's not delicate at all.

Rather than bring that up, though, she just grins at him.]

I bet he'd make a really funny face if you told him that. Sort of liiike... a cross between "uuuu" and "bwaaah?"!

[ Oh, but she does have delicacy—in the things that matter, that is. Everything else? Questionable.

He snorts and smirks, letting the somber mood dispel itself. ]

He makes plenty of amusing faces already—just watch him talk to Alhaitham.

Oh!

[NOW THAT HE MENTIONS IT--]

The guy he cares a lot a lot about!

I haven't seen them together yet.

[ The Wanderer laughs at her description. Cares a lot a lot. That's a cute way of saying it. Very childish, just like her. ]

I'm sure you'll get a chance soon. I doubt they stay away from each other for long.

[ It's seriously disgusting the way they make eyes at each other at every given opportunity. Even at the gala. He barely spoke to the two on account of avoiding them both, but he had to observe them to avoid them, and, well...

If he were human, he would have long ago thrown up the contents of his stomach from how disgustingly lovey-dovey they were. ]

[If he were human, he'd have thrown up from their lovey-dovey nature, but if Altria were human, she'd be swooning. As it is, her eyes light up, and she threads her fingers together in front of herself as they walk.]

Really? How nice... [SIGHHHH!!] That's so romantic...

[ He just rolls his eyes. Of course she'd be interested in that kind of stuff. As for him, well. One need not point out the multitude of trust issues he has to see why romance doesn't appeal to him. ]

More like nauseating. They can at least try to be more discreet.

[ He's not trying to rain on Altria's parade, really! It's just... this is a topic he never thinks about except in the most negative of light. ]

[She just laughs at that, so it seems her parade hasn't been terribly rained on.]

I guess it can be pretty annoying if someone rubs their perfect romance in your face, huh?

[SHE GETS IT... SHE'S BEEN THERE.....]

... Maybe if I actually saw them, I'd get annoyed too... [Would it remind her of what she can never have, or would she just think it's sweet? Even Altria is not sure which way the scales will tip.]

[ He just doesn't like the idea of romance—of being so attached to someone it warps your sense of reasoning and drives you to do crazy things. That's how love has been defined over the ages, and he's seen enough people act in the name of love to know it's a bad idea. ]

I'm sure you could find someone if you wanted to. You're more than cute enough.

[ Those are sincere words. He's seen her at the gala. Spent all that time getting her to shine. He knows how beautiful she can be. ]

Ha ha, yeah, I know, right? It's silly for someone like me to even dream about--

[....... That sort of... thing...?]

[--?!]

[She hasn't forgotten how horribly charming he'd been when he'd flirted with her in that story to get a rise out of her. The thought both raises her blood pressure and also makes her cheeks go even redder.

Because she can see the sincerity in every single word, and she's really--not at all sure how to deal with that.

He's not the sort of person who leans towards false platitudes anyway, but... to think that he'd really believe something like that...]

U-um, th-thank you very much...! [aaaaAAAAAA] It's really not the sort of thing that's meant for someone like me, but still, it makes me really, really happy that you think so!

[ She's getting flustered again. It's always hilarious, and he toys with the idea of flirting with her a bit to get a rise out of her. But he rather likes the peace and calm of the park and is content with the atmosphere they have right now, so he decides not to push it.

Save for a teasing smirk on his face. ]

If you say so. It'd be a shame for all your future suitors though.

[ Well, there's more than one way to tease her... ]

"Future"--?!

[FUTURE SUITORS?

She's daydreamed about such a thing, of course. How could she not? Daydreaming about finding the perfect soul mate, about a romance to rival the ages--

(About someone who could sweep her away from her fate, as if it'd be that easy.

About someone who could see past her destiny and still care for her anyway.)

For now, though, the very thought seems to have somewhat short-circuited her.]

... "Suitors"...?

[wow wow wow wow suitors. That's such a lovely word--]

[ She's really that enamoured by the idea, huh. Based on what she's said before, it doesn't seem like circumstances in her world allow her to pursue such a thing, so he can't help but wish that she gets the opportunity to indulge in some of her dreams here.

Love is a hard one though, because he knows the separation once they leave here would be painful. But who knows; she seems to be far more resilient than he when it comes to losing people. At least he hopes she is. ]

Seen anyone here that catches your eye?

[ Yes, he's going to continue to keep lightly teasing her. ]

Wh-wh-wh-wha--

Here?

[She makes a noise not unlike a squawk, and then claps both hands over her mouth. Oh. Embarrassing. She wanted to handle this smooth and suave and ~cool~, but that... was only ever to be in her daydreams.]

Ha ha... ha! Oh, gosh, no! Like I said, it's really not for me, you know? I definitely haven't been looking. Don't be ridiculous!

[ It's just too easy to laugh at her and her embarrassment. If she keeps fumbling like this, she'll never be as cool as she dreams of being. But that's okay, because she has plenty of charm like this. She's fine the way she is, and he's certain plenty of people will see what he sees. ]

Doesn't mean you can't look and appreciate though.

[ The look he gives her remains teasing—but it's also inviting. If she wants to talk about some of the silly things she keeps in her heart, she's more than welcome to. Here, at least, she doesn't have to worry about what ails her in her world. ]

[... Is that true, she wonders? She knows he's teasing her--it's obvious in the sassy look he gives her, in the way that the tone is much more light-hearted than it was a few moments ago.

But is it true that she's allowed to look and appreciate, even knowing that she's never going to be allowed to have a proper romance?

She thinks it over, and because it's him, she tries to be honest, voice soft even though she's smiling.]

I... think it'll make my heart hurt too much if I do.

[If she deludes herself, even for a moment, into thinking she could have what's out of her reach.]

[ He hates that her world has hurt her in this way. She's still got dreams and hopes, unlike him. She should be allowed to pursue them. But the world has never been fair to either of them, has it?

He's at a point where he's freer than ever before—but it seems she's still trapped by something. He hates that. ]

...even without romance, you've still got people who care about you.

[ Back home, he hopes. And if not... Him. ]

Inbox (The City)

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